"That Age"

Yesterday, in my Joy Rush list, I mentioned the fact that my older daughter has reached "that age" where giving me and Dad hugs just isn't cool anymore. Well, that's really only part of the story to being "that age". It turns out that 12 means has lots of advantages and an equal number of drawbacks. I wasn't fully prepared for some of the drawbacks, but more about that later.

On the up side, 12 means increased independence and a higher level of personal responsibility. She's now able to baby-sit her younger sister which means no more hiring a sitter every time I want to step out of the house. When Dad and I want a date night (and we do get a few of those here and there), we pay her, of course, but if I just want to go to the grocery store or run errands without dragging children behind me, I can just go and not worry about them.

She's taking a home economics class in school right now, and has become increasingly interested (and excited) about helping around the house. She is able to cook simple meals (good thing I like grilled cheese and scrambled eggs!), make coffee (bless you, child!!) and she even made Rice Krispy treats all by herself for dessert on Mother's Day (yummy!).

The simple fact that she doesn't have to be supervised in every activity is such a treat for me. The down side, however, has been a true shock to my system. It was bad enough when, about a month into 6th grade, she suddenly began to fight me at every turn about every little thing. I knew nothing about what she should wear or how she should do her hair, couldn't be trusted to help with her homework, and every little suggestion was met with a sarcasm that just made me want to scream. All of these things were bad enough, but what happened the other day just about put me over the edge.

(Ok, first let me say that if she ever finds her way to my blog and reads about this, I may be a dead woman, but I like to live dangerously.)

So, when I signed the girls up for their own internet accounts, I set up the parental controls so that they would send me a report of what web sites they visited, how long they spent online, who was emailing them, and I totally blocked them from IM. I got the report the other day and was not prepared for what I found...searches for topics that, quite frankly, made me blush furiously. I won't go into detail, but one of the words rhymes with "Bilbo" as in Bilbo Baggins, but this one had NOTHING to do with Lord of the Rings. WHAT????? (Now, thankfully, those parental controls appear to have blocked the actual content, but that didn't mean she couldn't type it in and search for it!)

Thank goodness I found this early in the day while said-child was in school or I might have strung her up by her toe nails right there and then. Fortunately for her, I had plenty of time to calm down and plan my strategy for the coming discussion.

That night, when she got home from school, I sent her sister outside to play, and then sat her down with the "we need to talk" introductory statement. I asked her if she knew that I still got reports of her online activity when she is on the internet. Holy cow, I don't think I've ever seen her face that white or her eyes that big.

Of course, she immediately knew what I was talking about. We discussed the fact that this material was not only not appropriate for someone her age, but how looking up things like that on the internet can lead to a great deal of misunderstanding and misinterpretation. Just because information is posted on the internet, doesn't mean it's correct. As we talked further, I found out by probing a bit that the words she was searching for were things she had heard kids talking about at school, and she just wanted to know what they were or what they meant. OK, I can understand that. I knew how it feels to be that kid at school who doesn't get it when the other kids are talking about "stuff". So I told her she could ask me any question about anything, and I would always answer her honestly. I would tell her what things meant, but that didn't mean I thought it was appropriate conversation material and CERTAINLY didn't condone her actually trying any of those things.

Amazingly, this and a few more questions led into a conversation so frank, I couldn't believe afterward that I'd actually been talking to my 12-year-old about topics like this. Again, I won't go into detail (because this is a family show, after all!) but use your imagination and think about the things kids used to talk about in middle school...you'll figure it out.

We talked for about an hour, and when we were done, I think we both felt much better. I also told her that next time she has questions, she needs to come to me. I said I would always tell her the truth and give her the right information. (I really hope she listened and takes me up on it.)

Overall, I felt pretty good about the way I handled it. She understood that I wasn't happy with what she did, but hopefully, I also opened a line of communication with her. There was no yelling, no crying, no screaming, just talking openly and honestly. Whew!

I'm glad it turned out like this, but I just was NOT prepared for this to happen yet. Were we that aware of these things at 12 or is "that age" just coming on earlier now days? I'm not sure.

Hair, Halee and How's this for a birthday present?

About two years ago, I started getting my hair highlighted. From the first time I came home with highlights, Paige (who has always thought herself to be 10 years older than she really is) has been begging me to let her color her hair. Well, after trying a couple of different places, I finally found a stylist who is DA BOMB-DIGGITY! She seriously rocks! (Hi Halee!)

Two weeks ago when I was in to get my hair done, Halee showed me some new colors she had just ordered. For me, they were pretty out-there colors...pink, yellow, orange, fire-engine red, etc. But she knew that Paige wanted hers done and grinning like crazy, Halee suggested I should let Paige get her hair colored. "Just a couple pieces right in front."

See, Halee loves my girls and she's SOOOO good with them! She even gave Paige her first eye-brow wax a couple weeks ago. (No, seriously, the child NEEDED it! Poor thing has her dad's eyebrows.) And the girls love going to see her because Halee gives them cuts they love (not just your typical kids' cut) and will spend time messing with their hair showing them how to make it look "cool".

Well, yesterday was a banner birthday for Paige. She turned 12, and I've always considered 12 to be a milestone of sorts. I know for me, it kind of marked the end of childhood and the beginning of young-adulthood. More independence, more responsibility, more freedom, more making my own decisions. And I feel like Paige is really entering that phase of her life, too. Dad and I decided that we'd let her mark this birthday with something really dramatic. So here's what she got for her birthday....









































Now, before anyone has a heart attack and says "WHAT did you DO????" it's not permanent! It'll last about 30 washes so about a month. After that, she will have a few blonde highlights because Paige's hair is so dark, we had to highlight before putting in the pink or else the pink would not have shown up at all.

The sunglasses were a gift from Dad. Halee works at the liquor store part time with him, and he had given her a few dollars with instructions to pick out some accessory from Daddy. The glasses, of course, added just the right touch.

As you can probably already guess, Paige walked around all night last night like she was the Queen Bee! And this morning, when I came upstairs at 6:30 to get her up for school, she was already up, dress, and ready to leave. She'd been up for over an hour flat-ironing and primping so that her hair would be just perfect for school. (I guess she was excited to go to school today!) She was already planning the big reveal to her friends, too. Ah, she kills me sometimes!

Here's both girls at dinner last night. While we were eating, I asked Paige if she was disappointed that I didn't make a cake this year. She laughed and said "No way! This is better than any cake!"

I guess Mom did good this year!

Twice in One Day!

So, I go two months without posting and now I post twice in one day. Good grief! But I guess I have lots to say since I've been been silent for so long.

Today is Paige's birthday. She's 12. TWELVE! When did THAT happen? Only one more year of tween left and then she's a full-fledged TEENager....oh, I'm so not ready for this.

On the plus side, at least now she's finally officially old enough to babysit! Wahoo!! I've waited for this day for 12 years! No more babysitters to call and hope to high heaven she's available at the last minute.

She's also old enough to volunteer for the Junior Zookeeper program at our local zoo this year. We filled out her application and will turn it this week Sunday afternoon. I don't know how many applications they get each year or how many they accept, but I really hope she gets this. I know it's something she's wanted to do for ages, so I'm afraid she'll be heartbroken if she doesn't get accepted into the program. Keep your fingers crossed!

I'm picking her up early from school today to take her to get her birthday present. I won't spoil the surprise but I do promise (YES, I PROMISE!) to post pictures tomorrow. It's something she's been begging for since she was in the 4th grade, and I finally decided to cave this year.

In other news, the weightloss is going, but VERY slowly. I've only lost 5 pounds since the first of the year, but I guess that's mostly my own fault. I'm to the point with Weight Watchers that I HAVE to start adding exercise because the points just aren't enough to keep me from starving anymore. But still, 5 pounds is 5 pounds and at least it's in the right directly. On the other hand, I really want to lose 19 more before summer and I have 29 more to my goal weight.

This weekend, we travel to Jamestown for the last dance competition of the year. I guess "last" makes it sound like they compete alot (they only really have two competitions a year), but we've had so much fun with dance classes and performances this year that it is a bit dissapointing to be almost done. Yes, I've even enjoyed it! The fun part is that Jamestown is about midway for many of our family and friends, so several will be making the trip. (If anyone else wants to make a last minute trip to Jamestown on Saturday, here's the info. Paige's group is Middle Kix 1. Let me know if you're coming because I'm planning a group dinner afterward to celebrate her birthday.)

Now that you all are caught up on my little world, I must remember to update more often! Until next time!